Mini-Success

WOOOHOOOOOOOO. Today, I finally fit back into my skinny jeans! Not my "I'm skinny" jeans, but the actual cut. Either way, it's a step in the right direction and was super exciting. My weight isn't changing too much lately, so this was much needed. They still used to be fat pants, but for a month or two, I couldn't even fit into them. Now I can with ease, so I must be doing something right.

I know I shouldn't use food as a reward, but I used good food in moderation as my reward today. I went out to my favorite sushi joint and instead of my usual three rolls leaving me stuffed, I had a gentle two rolls and savored them. It was just the right size and totally hit the spot.

So yay for having more than one pair of pants to wear to work and yay for enjoyed moderation!

Reinventing Yourself

How will you know you've reached your goal? I will be able to fit back into all the damn cute clothes I bought. I wont think twice about wearing a bikini. I won't think bad thoughts when I look in the mirror anymore. Food will not control me. I won't be terrified of gaining it back. I will be able to splurge without feeling guilty.

What sacrifices will you make? I'm ok being less indulgent in social situations. That's a biggie for me. I feel like if I'm paying for food I need to get something really indulgent and that shouldn't be the case. I should be able to (sometimes, not necessarily all the time) go out to dinner and not get pasta.

What sacrifices won't you make? This is horrible, but I'm not ready to give up social drinking entirely right now. I'm really trying to reach out and make friends and that's a common method. I definitely am willing to nix the booze some nights and go for some Diet Coke instead, but not all nights. I want to be able to cut loose like that when I feel like it, which I guess would be part of my 90% compliance so it should be OK. That's the big one that I feel like will become more of an issue the closer I get to my goals. It's not like I go out a lot, but I do tend to have half a dozen drinks or so and some junk food when I do. I also need to be able to give into my cravings at least some of the time, but again, 90/10.

How will you feel when you're a fit female? This will mean the world to me. It's so frustrating knowing I had it. To know I finally have it again will be a huge accomplishment and RELIEF. I will be confident in my body again and happy with it and love it. Not that I shouldn't do that now anyways, but man, I remember that shock the last time I tried in bikini's and they fit and looked good. I want it. I want it bad.

What makes this a must this time? What are the repercussions of failure? Well, short term, I want to be able to go to the beach and feel great and have awesome pictures and not be worried about what I look like. (I probably don't have time to get quite there, but I'll be a ton closer). The repercussions of that are going to be not enjoying my trip or pictures or adventures. Long term repercussions, well I've kind of talked about them. I don't want to yo-yo anymore. I don't want to be a bad example. I don't want to do this again and again. I want to be stable. I will not waste this energy and stress and unhappiness anymore.

Mission Statement I think this one is going to get it's own post, but I'd love to sum up with two that really stick with me. "Suck it up princess" and "food will not control my mood."

Deciding what you want and Why

I recently finished (and loved) reading the Female Body Breakthrough. There were a couple of questionnaire type sections for goal setting that you're supposed to do. So I figured why not put them out here? All my blogging related to the book will be under the category FBB if you're interested in following along to the book specifically. So here it goes (paraphrased Q's below).

Why did you pick up this book? I picked up the book because I need a change. I've put back on a good chunk of fat, especially post-breakup, and it needs to be gone. I don't feel healthy, confident or good about myself much at all anymore, and I want those things back. I picked up this book because I've done some of Rachel's workouts before, and I know she's an ass kicker. I feel like if someone is going to push me, it's going to be her and I knew I would get results. I also knew she would force me to do things I don't particularly like, but are good for me.

Are you ready to do what it takes? I think so. Not the most confident answer, and probably not the ideal, but it's an honest one. I am definitely ready and eager, but I'm really scared too. I know I have a long way to go and that really intimidates me. That being said, this is as good a time as any and I'm loving the results I've got already.

Why now? Because this is out of control. Because this is the biggest I've ever been. Because I hate this. Because I hate the lack of confidence. Because I need to feel like me again. Because I'm sick of stressing about my body.

What has stopped you in the past? Stress and my love of food have been my usually derailers. I freaking love food and I'm a huge comfort eater. I do fine with exercise. I really love it and enjoy it. But I hate dieting. I hate feeling hungry. I hate limiting myself. And it's always been diet that I've given in on. I'm all or nothing, on or off the wagon, and that's a guaranteed way to put the weight back on.

Are those obstacles still issues? Again, honestly, they probably are. I'm never not going to love food and I'll probably always be somewhat attracted to junk. But I do have hope that it will get better. I'm trying new recipes all the time and becoming a decent cook and I think that if I can make my daily food more delish that will help a lot. As for stress eating, I'm trying to decrease/eliminate stress as much as possible. Really trying to change my mindset and the way I think about things. So hopefully the situations where I want to stress eat can be fewer.

What motivates you? I've been there before. I've felt awesome about myself. I've felt healthy and fit and attractive and it was amazing. I just want to get back there so bad. Short term, I'm trying to plan a trip to South America this March, so looking good for that is motivating me too.

Let's Get Real: A look in the Mirror

For year and years there's one body part I've always hated: my stomach. It's the one body part I've always judged myself on, based my progress off of and has had the biggest ability to affect my happiness. It's what i'm most self-conscious about and always trying to hide.

Lately, it's come to my attention that I'm a moron. As much as I might be self-conscious of my tummy, it really isn't where I hold/gain most of my weight. It's actually a really poor indicator of progress, and even though it doesn't look good persay, it really isn't my "trouble spot." Still, it's admittedly hard to not focus on it when I look in the dreaded mirror.

But like I said, I am a moron. Just looking at a handful of pictures, it's adundently clear that my weight goes to primarily to my thighs (then the lower back, ass and finally to my arms). So why the hell look at something like my stomach to judge progress??? I know in part I'm definitely trained by the media/society/etc etc to be looking for those abs. But I also know that's not a good indicator for me. Maybe in the future, but certainly not now.

Not a really exciting post, but I hope it maybe gives you a reason to re-evaluate what you're looking at. I know for me, between the media and my distorted body image, it's been really difficult to realistically look at myself and my progress, and appreciate what I have. I know for me, pictures are the clearest indicator of this and the best way to keep myself in check. I can't recommend them enough. So get snapping and take a real good look at yourself.

Practice Thanksgiving

So a few friends and I have what we call Practice Thanksgiving every year. It started when a friend was hosting turkey day for her fam and wanted to practice making a turkey. So we decided why not turn it into a fun potluck? This year was our third annual celebration. It's a really fun time to get together with friends and just enjoy an awesome meal.

The Ingredients

So this year I decided to go for some non-traditional turkey day options that I had been waiting to try. The first was a quinoa broccoli fritatta from Oxygen Magazine and the second was a roasted chickpea recipe from Clean Eating Magazine. Both turned out surprisingly well! Here's the fritatta:

The Fritatta

I had been aching to make this for a while and this was a perfect opportunity. It was also my first fritatta! So both exciting. I burned the bottom a little (probably when it was on the stove, not in the broiler) but overall success! It was OK at dinner cause it was a little cold, but was amazing when I reheated it. So good! I can definitely see adding more veggies and egg and having it as a regular breakfast. And it was really easy to make!

Next, were the roasted chickpeas. Again, super easy to make, pretty cheap, nutritious and they turned out quite well! I can definitely see making them as a regular snack food. Here they are:



And the final results of Practice Thanksgiving? An awesome, colorful plate of food! And it was a pretty successful meal for me as well. I was able to savor my meal, not totally stuff myself and enjoy dessert in much more moderation than I'm used to! Now if I can just conquer the crescent rolls in two weeks at home!

Yum!

Funnies, Part I

So to lighten the mood a bit (I know I get uber-bloggy sometimes), I thought I would also throw in some random funnies that I enjoy. Of course, genres of all type and some might be a bit inside joke-ish. But mostly, I just don't want to lose track of most of these! So I hope you enjoy.

Can squats cure cancer? An amazing compilation of Rippetoe quotes.



Most Legit Workout Workout Vid Ever. I want to marry these guys.



And one I was introduced to last night. German Forklift Safety:



Poke, Sniff and Lick: a lovely production by a coworker's kids (sorry, can't imbed this one!). Really funny actually. I think I would have had tons of fun with these guys :)


My heroes from The Principal's Office on Dirty Dancing.




Marker Face, again from the Principal's Office. Cause who didn't have a kid like this in their school?

And finally... my favorite clip from The Soup discussing our President's sexual habits that made me nearly piss my pants. MUST SEE.




Hope you Enjoyed!!!! Stay tuned for part 2 as I come across more funnies.

My Reading List

One big thing on my to-do list has been starting to read again! So here's my list of books I want to read. All varieties included. Please PLEASE post suggestions of more! I love lots of different genres so suggest anything!

Chick Lit (or just anything I know will make me cry)

• Bridget Jones 1 and 2
• Twilight Series
• Joy Luck Club
• Memoirs of a Geisha
• The Notebook
• The Princess Bride



• In Her Shoes
• The Time Traveler's Wife
• Persuasion- Jane Austen (and the rest that I haven't read)
• Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants

Exercise/Nutrition

• Maximum Strength- Eric Cressey
• Muscle Revolution/ Huge in a Hurry- Chad Waterbury
• Under the Bar - Dave Tate



• Raising the Bar -Tate
• Starting Strength - Mark Ripptoe
• reread Nutrient Timing
• The Female Body Breakthrough
• Rock, Iron, Steel
• Bigger, Faster, Stronger
• Good Calories, Bad Calories
• Built for Show- Nate Green
• Scrawny to Brawny - John Berardi

Highschool/Middleschool Classics I Missed

• Rebecca
• Killing Mr Griffin
• Forever- Judy Blume
• A Hero Ain't Nothing but a Sand
• Boy - Roald Dahl (pretty sure that's a re-read)

Series

• Anything Dean Koontz
• Finish up my Clive Cusslers
• Something Bill Bryson

Other

• The Great Bridge
• The Poisonwood Bible
• Outliers
• Running with Scissors
• Girl with the Pearl Earing