Darla is it?

We've all seen Finding Nemo, right? Excellent film. Thoroughly enjoyable. Well, I came to the realization today that I AM DARLA!!!!  The death machine that all the fish fear. Yeah, that's me.

At least in the world of plants I am. I kill everything. My amazing great grandmother would be rolling over in her grave if she saw what I do to plantlife of all kinds. Most recently, I've killed:

• A basil bush (pricey too - got it at the farmers market!)
• A smaller basil plant
• Pansies
• Venus fly trap
• Most of my cilantro (a few sprouts are hanging on)
• Lilies
• Some mystery plant that looked like the speck from Horton Hears a Who.

I've even killed cacti. And bamboo. Twice.

The only thing I can seem to keep alive is this $0.99 plant I got from Walmart!


<===== Walmart plant FTW

I got a sunflower plant about two weeks ago and tried so damn hard to keep it alive. I read about it (ok ok, only a little). I tried to pay attention. Watered it (though I have no clue how much water you're actually supposed to give one). Put it in the sun. Talked to it. Loved it. All that good stuff.

No luck. He now looks like this ========>

I got a new one a few days ago, brought her home and put her next to her very dead friend. Probably moderately terrifying for the "new" sunflower. Assuming sunflowers can think and feel of course. And it hit me....

I. AM. DARLA.

The first of many.

**Note to readers: in my absence, it seems as if blogger has deleted links to many a photo on my blog. I will work on getting those back up when I get a chance.**

Well hello world!! Still working on the internet situation down here in good ol’ Jersey, but I really wanted to get blogging again. Text at a minimum… We’ll see how long the library puts up with me. So, quick summary for those that aren’t totally in the loop. About a month ago, I quit my job, moved to NJ and began attending a commercial diving program! I’m open to where it takes me, but mostly I’m trying to get into dive-engineering with a focus in bridge inspection. 

Or this could be me... welding underwater.

Up until now, we’ve been learning mostly the theory behind everything. Well, that and the 1001 ways that we can die. It’s fun when every page of your chapter has at least one big bold warning – “Warning, you could die diving if you do X.” Thanks. Luckily, the dive medicine book did confirm that women are not more prone to shark attacks while on their periods. Yes, it really said that. So no, I’m not more likely to die that way than anybody else.

Today though, man… today was THE DAY. I know it sounds cheesey, but honestly it’s probably a day I’ll remember for the rest of my life. My first day doing a legit commercial style dive. Holy awesome!!! So not at all like scuba. Most of my class of course had done their orientation dives a few days ago but I was behind (funny story). The rest of the class was going to be starting their first projects. Basically they send a bucket down with a bunch of pipes and elbow fittings that you have to put together to make a square. I was only supposed to be doing my orientation dive though (hold that thought).

A desco hat - the type we used for our first dives.

So I go and get ready to get in the water. They suit me up, I walk over, I manage to conquer the ladder (seems silly, but climbing down that ladder in all your gear is actually mildly terrifying) and get in the water. First part of orientation dives – loss of air drills. Basically, they turn off your air so you can get used to how it feels so you won’t panic if it really does happen and then you have to try out the various backup systems (we have multiple! – yay for safety!) Now in the classroom, when we practiced on land, I didn’t really get to experience the feel of this at all. The neck dams that seal you into the hat are generally huge on my. So even with the air off, I still get a very good amount of air from outside and can’t really tell a difference. Definitely different in the water though! It doesn’t go off all at once, but you can feel it starting to back off and slowly get harder to breath. So I finally got to experience it a little more.

Then we start making out way over to the descent line. In commercial diving, you’re really heavily weighted down. For scuba, you want to be neutral in the water, but commercial is negative buoyancy. So when you’re in the water, you’re going to sink. So to descend, you have to lower yourself down a line slowly so you have time to clear your ears. I finally get to the bottom (only about 30’ down) and then they start sending me out to go walk around. It’s trippy and awesome and I don’t have good enough words to describe it. I had a hard time getting my footing (we wear boots instead of fins because we’re walking around, not swimming) but was pretty comfortable.

What I'll look like soon.... (in a dry suit with a superlite hat)

Finally, done walking around and I think they’re going to bring me back up. Nope. Bam! Here’s your project coming down, better be ready. Minus having gloves that were way too big on me, I was pretty ok. Got it all fitted up, sent it back up and found out I passed. And then my girly moment. We’re supposed to be professional over the communication lines and I of course SQUEAL out “Oooh! A fish” as this foot long fish starts swimming around with me. Sorry topside. I eventually get over to the descent line, make my way back up (mind you, you then have to hoist yourself up the line when you’re all done – my back is going to be ripped when I get outta here!), and re-conquer the ladder!

And that my friends, was basically my first day diving! Holy cool Batman!

And finally, me doing my "dry dive" during class.

Katarina, donde esta?

Man oh man, so I have been one busy chica these last few weeks and I'm going to continue to be one over the next few. So this is kinda one of those bs interim blog posts to say "Hey! Hey you! I'm alive still! Don't forget about me and stop reading!"

Let's see, so my biggest adventure (which I will blog about) was SCUBA lessons last weekend. They were, well, AH-mazing. Bought myself a wetsuit on ebay already. This past weekend I went to a very unique party - a CHILI COOKOFF!!!! Again, AH-mazing. Nine different types of chili, all of which my stomach is still working on. Next weekend is Easter and the end of my Lenten experiment, overall with which I am very pleased. But more importantly, Friday is the premier of a fantastically cheeky little film called Rubber about Robert the killer tire. The boy and I will be seeing it before traversing home for the holiday.

Somewhere in the midst of this, I've been planning a bachelorette party for my lovely friend D and getting ready for her wedding. This means the boy and I are going to have to use our groupon for Boston Swing Central, where we get a free lesson and then a night of dancing. We'd like to be somewhat in tune for the wedding and we've never really danced. We have a dinner party. I have a massage. Jumping out of a plane in a week. And there might be a Steampunk mini-convention. Oh yeah, and still trying to make that durned t-shirt quilt!

So phew! That's about what's been up with me. Hopefully many of those will have awesome blogs to accompany them. But I wanted to send an update so you all knew I was still here, still kicking, just super busy! Good things, good times. Photo worthiness.

Weebles wobble but they don't fall down!

So maybe we fell down quite a bit, but my snowboarding/romantic vacation last weekend was AWESOME. Definitely blog and photo worthy. I've been feeling in a bit of a rut lately, so my boyfriend and I literally googled "cheap new england excursions" and it worked! When does that happen? We found a link through the New England Inn Crowd (I highly suggest signing up for discounts) that allowed us any room in the 1785 Inn for $69!?!?! So we got an amazing suite with a tub and gorgeous view. It was a sweet room - exactly what you wanted for a B&B. Breakfast both mornings was amazing. There was a great common room with games and movies (who kicked butt at Scrabble first time ever playing - THIS GIRL). I would definitely recommend the Inn even at full prices.

The 1785 Inn, our lovely home away from home.

We arrived Friday afternoon and checked in. The staff was great and let us switch rooms so we could have a tub - when you live in an downtown apt, this is a MUST on vacation. Hung out for a bit and settled in before heading over to Moat Mountain, a local brewery and BBQ suggested by a friend of mine. There was a solid beer sampler (nothing amazing, but good beers for sure). Then we foolishly decided to order the FULL rack of ribs. Now these ribs admittedly weren't the best I've ever had, but the meat was tender, the rack was HUGE, mashed potatoes were amazing and it came with toast! I was super happy to say the least. Even the two of us combined and hungry couldn't finish it, but it was a great snack later.

Mmmmmmmmm, ribs.

Finally we decided to top off Friday night with some late night tubing at Cranmore. Neither of us had any idea what to expect, but were glad we ended up being wimps and wearing our snow pants. It was cold flying down that hill! We did the last hour discount package and that was perfect. Not too many people there and we could pretty much continuously go up the carpet and down the hill. Nothing like giggling like school girls together with your significant other. It was definitely worthwhile.

Saturday morning was the big shabang - snowboarding at Wildcat Mountain. I've taken a lesson at Mt. Sunapee once earlier this year but haven't gone since then and TJ hadn't done it since he was maybe 8, but had skateboarded. So we decided to do the beginner lesson package - lift ticket, rental and 2.5 hours lesson for $65. Seemed like a great deal to me for people still trying to learn. TJ had a little trouble on the bunny hill but as soon as we moved to the slope, he went flying. I was super impressed. I got much more comfortable with my heel edge and tried to push myself on that toe edge as much as I could. The lesson was pretty hard work with a good instructor, but after we were done we just kind of took it easy and had fun. We were both beat and wanted to have fun. Hopefully next time I'll keep pushing myself to try to get my skills even better. I've learned I have a "strong falling leaf" and that I can avoid wacking my head even when I fall off the chair lift. So yay me! No injuries and much fun had by all.

Not exactly flattering but us on the chair lift!

After snowboaring, we were both beat so it was relaxation time. That meant a nice bath and a movie. Then it was "fancy dinner time." There was a great restaurant downstairs so we just went with that. We shared awesome elk sausage for an appetizer and I had duck for dinner. I definitely mentally blocked out that section of the menu that said "Rabbit Prepared Two Ways." Finally we topped the meal off with an amazing bananas foster prepared table side of course! AWESOME. Dinner was excellent overall and I would definitely recommend it for someone looking for a nice night out.

And that was about it. Sunday we did a little exploring around town. Went into the Penguin Gallery to look at the beautiful gifts. We also went into Zeb's General Store and got some "Northern Comfort" to thank my lovely friends for bun-sitting for me! I got some wonderful candy for the ride home and just generally explored. Cute little store. Reminded me of going on vacation to Cape May, NJ. And of course we had to spend a few minutes at the infamous Settlers Green Outlets. Didn't really do too much shopping, but couldn't resist some Yanke Candles, which I'm burning now of course!


At last, it was time for the ride home. It was an amazing weekend and perfect timing. We had a really fun time tubing, snowboarding was a blast and it was nice to throw in some romantic dinner. Fortunately, this was the only moose we saw! Can't wait to go again!

Moose crossings everywhere scaring the crap outta me constantly!

Chai anyone?

A while back I had posted some resolutions, most of which I'm doing pretty good with. One in particular was to lush-less - aka cut back on the booze. Overall, I think I've been doing a pretty good job of it. I've gotten more drunk than I wanted on one or two occasions, but not even close to the emotional hot mess of 2010. So yeah, pretty good. I've been proud of myself. I'm more in control. I like myself more. I'm sure others like me more. And it's just been better all around. But still not quite as good as I had hoped.

What does that mean? Time to kick it up a notch. The challenge: give up booze for Lent.

I've found that lately my problem with not being quite as on the ball as I would want has just been that I don't have the inspiration for it. Like I kinda want to and I do OK, but not great because I just don't have that something extra pushing me. Things are better....it's easy to be tempted to settle at that. But I don't want to settle. So it occurred to me, literally sitting on the toilet, "Hey! It's Lent! Why don't I use that?" Lent has always been a good inspiration, solid reason and non-arguable excuse. Once I'm committed to something for Lent, I feel obligated. All things that are great for a task that yeah, for a young person is kinda hard to enforce. So off I go!!! Oh and P.S., my one planned break is after my skydiving - it's going to be a crazy event, it's an important day and I think I'll have earned a beer after that :)

Saturday was my first challenge - a St. Patty's Day party. :: Insert ominous "Ohhhhhhh" :: Tons of boozing, partying, kegs, and general shenanigans. I was going to be expected to be crazy, as I usually am a little. And it's been a rough few weeks so I wanted to make sure I had some damn fun. I was happy to find out that it was actually pretty easy. I brought a travel mug with some Chai tea (and an extra tea bag!) so that I had caffeine and chugged that and water most of the night. I've always been crazy without booze; it's just been a while since I partied that way. It was about time I did again.  No one suspected a thing and if they asked, it was my "mystery drink"  in the container. I had a total blast and really wasn't tempted at all. I also took the opportunity to unload a lot of my booze unto a party household so that they A) wouldn't tempt me and B) would be put to good use. Setting myself up for success! And I awarded myself with some cookies and swedish fish.

 Damn straight you're next.

So yeah, I guess for the next few weeks this is how it'll go. I'm looking forward to the challenge and hoping I can follow through. And if I fall, I just gotta get back up! After that, who knows how I'll re-integrate. Overall, I think it's going to be a very good thing.

Overdue and Far Over the Ground!

So I'm very overdue in posting something new, especially if I'm going to be keeping up with my "one picture worthy event a month" goal. Well, as I already said, February was HELICOPTER FLYING!!! That's right - flying. None of this tour stuff. Actually flying a helicopter myself.  Booyeah.

Ages and ages ago (ok maybe like last april), a phenominal group-on came up for helicopter flying lessons. They were marketing it as a Father's day gift and I guess it worked, cause I picked up 2 - one for me and one for my Daddy! The company was East Coast Aero Club and for $70 each, we were going to get to FLY helicopters. SCORE.  I think they had sold like 1200 by noon and by 3 they were sold out with something like 2000 groupons sold.  It was the most amazing groupon feat I've ever seen. Long story short, it took a while until my Pops and I could make it work to come up here, but 2 weekends ago we finally made it happen!

First though was HOMEWORK?!?!?! We had probably 10 hours of reading to do (if you really studied super hard) from various books and manuals to learn about how helicopters work, the controls, our specific helicopter (the R44 shown below) and the airfield that we were going to be at. Ok so the engineer in me is about to come out. Something I thought that was really cool is how the lift on the blades is created. Obviously, some is from the air foil passing through the blades and being pushed down. The other part is the Bernoulli effect - when the air goes over the blades it causes pressure changes that make a vaccuum that sucks the blades up. Ok, so you probably knew this, but did you know that the Bernoullie effect makes up 2/3 of the lift of the helicopter?!?! Two thirds! I was shocked! Anyways, meet the R44:

So after we did our homework, it was classtime! We were supposed to have about a 2-3 hour class to go over the material we read and make sure we really understood it. And then...duh duh duh...a test! Now, I have to say, even I was a little nervous about this test, so I couldn't blame my Dad for being really nervous. He totally understood ALL the mechanical parts though! Silly goose <3  Our instructor finally showed up and because it was the long holiday weekend, we had accidentally been locked out of the lecture room. And guess what was locked IN the lecture room - that's right! The tests!!!  Wooohooohooo! We were all stoked but told "just pay attention :) "  PHEW.

Next cool helicopter fact: if you loose your power, your engine just kinda disconnects from the blades and you float down. It's called autorotation and you can travel about a mile that way. So kinda hard to crash. Neat, yeah?

Next morning.... the day of the class... We're both getting psyched, doing silly little Kelly dances while my Mom grades papers in the hotel room. We drive to the airport, attempt to drive through the Air Force base and are kindly redirected. And BAM! Our dreamy sweedish instructor is there ready to go! We get a refresher on the controls, a tour of all the parts and in we go!  Now let me tell you, this helicopter is SMALL. It's all fiberglass and the doors feel paper thin. You're basically in a bubble up there.

Flying was incredible. We couldnt have had a better day for it. It was gorgeous weather and we could even see Boston downtown (we were about 40 minutes away). There's a kinda long startup list that you have to go through to get the copter ready for flight. So Dreamy helped us (my Dad went first) find all the controls and do things properly. Then he called into the tower, we were cleared for takeoff and there we went! So different than being in a plane! I got to ride in the back for my Dad and him for me, so we each got extra time in the heli. So once we were a bit away from the airport we were handed off controls one by one from the instructor. My Dad was AWESOME. So so smooth. Then we did some turns, then some steeper turns and that was about it. Probably 25 mintues up in the air but it goes so fast! Now turning, turning is a bit terrifying. You bank pretty far over and are basically looking through this plexiglass bubble right down to the ground below you. Freakkkkky at first, but then just really cool.

It was awesome to get to be a passenger and a pilot because you can relax a little more in the back. In the front you have to concentrate super hard. There are 3 different controls and you're trying to watch the horizon and for traffic and be smooth. It's a lot to think about the first time but I could definitely see myself getting into it. And definitely maybe my Dad in all seriousness.  So some more pictures from the heli:

Overall, AMAZING experience!!! Even without the groupon price, I would definitely recommend it. I mean, come on, how many people can say they've FLOWN a helicopter? I CAN BITCHES. Total bucket list task that's been taken over. So yes, go, fly! Enjoy it!

Soar Soar Soar!

Coming to Our Senses - A Meditation Review

Recently I've been trying to get into some meditation (this might be a kinda boring blog - sorry!). I've always enjoyed guided meditations and when we used to do some guided imagery before big meets (mostly flexing and relaxing various muscles in your body to relax yourself). It's been something that's super relaxing for me so I want to see if I can get motivated and add it in as a regular part of my life. I knew about a couple general techniques/ideas but I wanted to try to get more specifics. Recently, an author named John Kabat-Zinn was recommended to me. I was able to get his book Coming to Our Senses out of the library. Now this is a big honkin book on meditation, so I decided to stick to Part 4 - Embracing Formal Practice. Here's a bit of what I learned.

First, several basic forms of meditation that I was already kind of aware of were discussed. These includeded lying down, sitting, standing and walking. Most of these were based on the same premise of focusing on a feeling (hearing, touch, breathing, gravity, etc) and trying to stay aware of that sensation only. A key idea is that the mind is always going to wander, and that you should be aware of that and then bring it back into focus. Another option is to be aware of all of these at once and experience the state of being. No matter what, all thoughts should come and go without judgement. It's a thought, that's it. It doesn't define you or an event or who you are. It's just a thought.

In the lying section, Kabat-Zinn describes a method called the body scan, which was similar to what we used to do for swimming (flexing and relaxing each body part). He also briefly discussed yoga and the meditative benefits of different flows and how they combine breathing and the mind. It's something I still in theory would like to incorporate but never have fully taken that leap.

Several obstacles to meditation were addressed. The two that were most releavant to me were falling asleep and motivation. I think I tend to like the ideas of sitting or standing meditation the best to address the first issue. As for motivation, I like his idea of "meditate like your life depends on it." In other words, don't let it be an option. Be dedicated. I can/do get super dedicated to other areas of my life, so I should be able to do it here if I just make myself. Finally there was the concept that you can't really be doing it wrong. No matter what, if you're aware of what's going on, then you're being mindful and you're doing it right. Can't mess up? Sounds good to me!

Lovingkindness meditation was a new and kind of bizzare sounding one to me honestly. The idea is to first get focused in on your breathing. When you're good with that, try to imagine someone that loves you unconditionally or what that would feel like. Then, you try to embody that emotion and apply it to yourself. In the example of a mother-child relationship, you become both the mother and the child simultaneously. You then repeat a series of phrases:

May I be safe and protected and free from inner and outer harm.

May I be happy and contented.

May I be healthy and whole to whatever degree possible.

May I experience the ease of well being.

After you get comfortable applying this to yourself, you work on applying it to love ones and then people further and further out of your circle of comfort. I think it will probably feel cheesy at first but would be a cool exercise to get in the habit of.

So yes, I guess that's my summary of the 75 pages or so that I read on meditation. Primarily the notes are for myself but maybe I've piqued your interest and you'll want to consider adding meditation into your life as well? I'll definitely do an update at some point to say how things are going!

A Photo Worthy Update

So one of my resolutions this year was to do something photo-worthy every month. So far, this year has been of to a good start, so I thought I would do a little update! With a few photos of course.

This year I went snowboarding for the first time ever! Actually, first time I did a winter sport ever. My friends and I had purchsed a group-on to Mount Sunapee. For $40 we got all day lift tickets, rentals and a 2hr lesson. None of us had ever snowboarded before, so we decided to go with that. Our instructor was an adorable youte who was super nice and helpful, and thank goodness! That is some tough stuff. We started at the base of the bunny hill, learning simple things like strapping in, how to stand and how to awkwardly hop of the hill (which we were all pretty kickass at). Then we moved up to the base of the magic carpet and started to learn how to do some turns. I was doing fine when we just had to do one way at a time. But then.... then we moved onto the full height of the bunny hill and tried linking turns together. Well, I can go heel in, but digging in my toes has turned out to be nearly impossible. So I can really only go in one direction. After years of squatting and drilling it into my body to put the pressure on my heels, it's just so unnatural to move to your balls at all. Not sure I'm ever going to get the hang of it.

 Snow Bunnies!

That didn't stop me from attempting a trail though! My friends were much smarter and stayed on the hill, getting more comfortable with things. Meanwhile, I decided to plummet, bump and crash my way down in an "appalling" fashion :) Thank goodness I got a helmet!  It was quite intense and I was so sore the next day, but I was glad I did it. Next time I'm definitely going to try to slow down more (I seemed to have amnesia about that concept) and get better at my turns before I get on a run.  It was an awesome day and I was so glad to have gone with such awesome friends!

My next amazing event, that was sooooo photo-worthy I made it online, involved public nudity! But that's going to get it's own post :) So I've had a good January. February is going to be the Passion Plunge with BSOS, where we will run into the ocean in the middle of winter to raise money for the Special Olympics. I'm also supposed to be using another group-in with my Daddy to learn how to and fly and helicopter with East Coast Aero. In April, you all probably know that (assuming I raise the $$$) I will be jumping out of a plane for Operation Freefall! And my friends and I just registered again for this years Warrior Dash. You can read about our adventures last year on my friend's blog!

That just leaves something for March, which is my bday month. Sounds like a good excuse for an adventure to me! Ideas anyone?

Cause I'm FREE!!! Freefalling!

You know you love the song. And you know it's appropriate for this entry because....

On April 30, 2011, I will be participating in the nation's boldest, highest-altitude, and most daring effort to put an end to sexual assault. It's called Operation Freefall: The Two-Mile High Stand Against Sexual Assault®.

I will join thousands of people at drop zones across the country who will take to the sky and jump. Our goal: to raise funds to help survivors throughout the healing process and increase awareness about sexual assault.

In order to participate in this event, I need to raise a minimum of $1,000 in funds! I’m hoping that you’ll help support me, the cause, and survivors around the world in this event. I’ve setup a page online where you can donate directly, or you can contact me and I’ll let you know how to donate with a check or cash. My goal is $1,250 - so every bit helps and I thank you so much in advance.

You can read more and donate on my page HERE.

This will be my first time diving and I can't think of a better way to do it or a more worthy cause. If you have any questions about the event or the issue, let me know and we can talk anytime.

Blue Skies!

So it goes....REBECCCCCAAAAAA!!!!

Time for Reading Rainbow Part 2. I know you're super excited to hear my reviews of the next bunch of books I've been reading, aren't ya, aren't ya??? I didn't make it a resolution, but it kinda is part of self-soothing in that it gives me something to do and focus on and stay calm about. And I want to keep it up if possible. So here we go!

Rebecca - Daphne de Maurier: LOVE IT. Love it. Love it.  Did you get that I loved it? Now admittedly, it took me a while to get into this book. The first hundred pages were kinda slow going, but after I hit that critical point, I was sucked in by Maxim (what woman wouldn't be?), Mrs. Danvers, Manderly and the mystery of Rebecca. Such dark romance. You could totally imagine yourself in the protagonist's shoes - wondering, was she more beautiful than me? Do I compare at all? Is he still in love with her? Do they all love her more than me? Will I ever live up to her?  She was utterly relateable. And Maxim, dear Maxim! He was as sexy as a brooding man could be! And the broodier, the sexier. The more secretive, the sexier. The more protective, of course, the sexier! And when you finally found out the truth of Rebecca, you were just so madly in love with him, it overwhelmed you and you had no choice but to fly through the book. As for reading environment, I highly suggest taking this book in a-la-spinster style....aka a nice candle (mine was Victorian Rose - totally fitting) and a good bottle of wine. It just makes the mood! A+ if you couldn't guess! Now I'm just waiting for the library to find me the Hitchcock movie, which I saw oh so many years ago, so I can see the book from another perspective.

Ethan Frome. Welp, I liked it, but I can't say I loved it. I feel like the forward from the copy that I had kinda gave away too much. I know there was a big tragic "smash-up" and that he was in love with his cousin. and that there was a supposed surprise ending. I kept assuming that it was going to something crazier than trying to run away with the cousin and getting in an accident with her from the talk about it, but nope. That's all it was, so it wasn't much of a surprise anymore.I liked the book - I read it in one sitting even - but it was really just a liking, definitely no love. I pitied Ethan, but wasn't overly moved by him. Maybe the book was just too short for me? Maybe he wasn't developed enough before everything started going wrong? Not too sure, but I never felt like I developed a true connection to him. So that being said, I gave it a B+. Solid, but not Amazing.

 Hate to say it, but I think I might like the movie better if I saw it.

Slaugtherhouse Five. Yay, yay! I'm really glad I finally read this. I wasn't positive how I felt about it at first honestly. I wasn't entirely sure if he was supposed to have been going crazy or not, and if it was sci-fi, I didn't think there was enough sci-fi to like it. I did a little sparknotes type reading and after I was sure I was interpreting the themes correctly, I decided that yes! I do really like this - a lot! I didn't really see it as an anti-war book, and I'm not sure that I agree that it was. I mean, I guess it has to be in part just because of the content/context, but I thought that the fate/free-will theme was much more powerful. And this was the theme I related too, at least in this point in my life. Just knowing that to an extent you have to let go. You can't control everything and you should focus on the positive. If I did that, hell yeah it would make a huge impact on my life; if I lived like the Tralfamadorians. Again, I read this book in one night. I wasn't enthralled, but I was captive for sure, trying to figure out what exactly was happening to Billy Pilgrim, where the book was going, what it meant to me and how I felt about it. I think this is one I would appreciate a lot more on second reading, now that I'm more confident in my understanding of it. Because I had trouble at first, I don't think I can fairly give this top ranks, so I'll give you an A, Mr. Vonnegut. I'm excited to read more of your stuff.

How are you not inspired by this?

It's about that time.....

I try to avoid bloggy blogging on here, but it is about that time of the resolutions and I guess I'm writing some and they're going to be bloggy. So I will start by apologizing. And now to the blogginess.

1. Lushless Me. My biggie for the year is to be a bit less of a lush, which has been a bad habit that's developed recently. I don't particularly enjoy my drunk self or the things I do or say and I really need to and am ready to put and end to the. Pooey. That's what I think of that me. Now I'll still be imbibing, just going back to that good ol' concept of moderation that's done so well for people throughout the ages. Peace will return to the world and I will be a much much happier person. Go plan, go.

2. More Cooking for Good Looking!  I have a lot of awesome recipes that are delicous and healthy that I just haven't been motivated to make. It's a big shame. I could really enjoy my food, stay in shape and learn new things. So 2011, I would like to cook more during you. Hopefully, this will also revolve around my CSA, Boston Organics, and force me to try new foods and random times.

3. Flush the filth. It's been a long time now that I've been indulging and nurturing my potty mouth. I hate it. I absolutely hate it. It comes out at work, in front of inappropriate people, near kids... all places I'm terribly embarassed to be speaking like that. Yucky yuck yuck. It's ok sometimes, but I really need to cut it out.

4. Power off. The tube that is. I've been making good progress at starting to read more this year and I'm really happy with that. So I'd like to encourage that habit and hopefully keep it up. Maybe even upgrade out of youth literature at some point.

5. Self soothing. OK so that one may sound weird, but it basically just means that I need to do more on a regular basis to relax/meditate. If you do it on a regular basis, it's much more effective when you need it. We practice other things, why not practice that?

Alrighty, well I guess those are the main 5 for 2011. Not too too bloggy I hope. Comments, questions or thoughts welcome :)

You Can't Have Your Pudding if you Don't Eat Your Meat!!!

Last weekend I had the extraordinary pleasure of seeing Roger Waters perform The Wall live! Thank god I have an awesome cousin that jumped on me months ago and informed me that I was going :) Seriously, THANK GOD.  I've been to a lot of shows in my day and thoroughly enjoyed them all, but this was unlike any show I've ever been to before.  Generally, I go to smaller shows - more along the lines of 500-3000 people. This wasn't a huge show by any means, but it was the biggest I've been to, with about 18,000 people at The Garden and it was more of a stage production than a concert.

The first half of the show revolved around the wall being built up between the band and the audience, the original inspiration of the movie. Stage hands would walk out one by one carrying bricks and piling them up as the band performed. They left small window holes in place so that you could see the band until the last song of the first half. The engineer in me thoroughly enjoyed seeing the construction. As the bricks were put in place, they became screens on which various images were projected onto, in addition to a giant circle above the stage. Sometimes it was sections from the movie and other times they were just provocative images. Waters had fans send in images and stories of family members who had died in war to bring some of the themes into current times. Their images were projected onto the circular screen and then transferred onto the individual bricks, starting with his father. It was quite epic.

The Wall being built, rally scene, 13 channels of shit, the Teacher in puppet form, the marching hammers and a giant floating pig - in the flesh.

It was a most excellent time. The crowd was quite the mix of people. We had a group of 40 year old stoners making up the rest of our row. They lovingly nicknamed me "Number 5" for my seat and commented on my every movement in and out of the aisle. One was smoking next to me and did eventually offer me a hit with 5 minutes left. Just a few hours too late buddy. Then we had the family in front of us - mom, dad and daughter. Mom was clearly there because it was a "family thing," but daddy and daughter were rocking out together, quite adorably. It had my roomie and I talking - what the heck music that's come out any time recently could someone our age enjoy with their child? Nothing. Just nothing. Definitely some stuff from more of the 90's, but anything past y2k is generally just crap and certainly not classic.



A small glimpse into the show.

It was an epic night and much fun had by all. Of course we needed something for bragging rights in the future to say "I was there!!"  We both decided to commemorate the night with some wonderfully inappropriate flower t-shirts from some of the animated sequences. There were some really cool dark t-shirts, but this one screamed "buy me!!"

I'm so glad I went and got to experience this for probably the last tour ever. For an almost 70yo dude, Mr. Waters can still put on quite the show. And there was only one "old man moment" - when he was exciting the stage at the end of the show, gripping that stair railing like his life - or probably his knees - depended on it. Everyone loves a silver fox. 

She's Baaaaack!

Well Howdy-Ho! I'm baaaack!

It's been many a month since I've visited you all in blogging land and I'm ready to make my return! Hopefully it will be most triumphant (excited anyone?). Or at least OK. I'm not too sure where to start now that I think about it. Hard to sum up the past few month, but I'll try.

Honestly, it's been a bit rough lately. Going through some personal stuff (to be girly and vague), but I don't want to get down and mopey with that. Always look on the bright side of life, right? Right. Unfortunately, the bright side of the last few months has mainly revolved around food...not so cute on the waistline. So that's #1 on the comeback to-do list. Getting back in good shape and starting to eat well again. I did say good shape and not just shape because I have somewhat maintained that. I did quite sucessfully complete the Warrior Dash with a bunch of awesome friends just a few weeks ago (which my friend quite wonderfully wrote about here!). So I was somewhat able to keep in shape of some sort. Definitely not up to par for me though. Plus, I long for "da pummmp" as Arnie would say.

Work has been OK as well. Mostly doing a lot of the same stuff.... over and over again. I'm quite ready for a change of pace, which luckily I'll be getting soon when I go out for inspections! I've decided to put off grad school for the moment while I try to figure out exactly what I want to do with my life. Just decided the timing wasn't right. So that's that for now.

I didn't get to do quite as many "summer" activities as I might have liked. But I've been keeping pretty busy with my friends too, which has been nice! Hanging out doing random things, helping my college bf with wedding stuff here and there, going to concerts, seeing the family and enjoying shenanigans with the Boston Society of Spontaneity. I haven't been doing as much volunteer work as I would have liked lately either, but there's always time to change that! I have been enjoying my new volunteer role with my rabbit rescue group, HRN - working on the hotline! I've had all sorts of interesting calls and was given the Hotline Volunteer of the Year award at our Bunny Bash this summer for my "grace" (ha! my mom would love to hear that) during some of the more "interesting" calls. I miss fostering, but I know I'm making a good solid contribution doing this too!

What else? Well given that I'm calling this a comeback, I figure it's also time for a.... MAKEOVER! 

There's some neat new options available on blogger that I definitely want to take advantage of here. So be expecting the setup to change a lot, when I get motivation of course. I'd like to try to also use this more to post a bit of what I'm doing for diet/exercise since my friends usually ask me about it (and to keep myself a bit more on track and accountable....). And I want to include some more random stuff about just my everyday life too. So it will be all over the place! No real theme... other than me?

So I think that's about that! I'm back! I'm excited. I hopefully won't get too distracted by my Wii. Speaking of which, time to go...do.......something..........toodaloo!

Conjunction junction, what's your function?

So this would be that random blog entry that goes back to my giant to-do list...specifically, starting grad school. My first step was doing some of my own research, where I think I've narrowed my choices down to:

• North Carolina State University
• University of Idaho
• Kansas State

I would be going back for my masters in Structural Engineering and these schools would hopefully allow me to get it done at a reasonably fast pace and for a reasonable amount of $$$$. I went through the question I could think of, but figured there had to be things that woudln't pop up for me. So my next step was to get a guide for distance learning and see if there were any other points that they brought up that I didn't think of.  For the most part, I got it mostly covered, but here's the stuff I didn't think of.

Places to search online:

• http://www.distance-educator.com/
• www.petersons.com/dlearn
• http://www.collegequest.com/
• http://www.geteducated.com/
• www.edsurf.net/edshack

Places to look for $$$ lenders. I'm not sure that I'm going to need this. Our company gives $5k a year. I'm thinking max I would be able to handle 4 courses a year. At the worst that would be about 10k - 5k = 5k for me to pay out of pocket, which I think I can handle. There's also the idea of building credit too.... So I'll have to do some more research and weigh my options. I could also never be able to handle that much coursewise anyways! So here are the places:

• http://www.key.com/
• http://www.estudentloan.com/
• http://www.embark.com/

Along the same lines, I'd like to save moolah buying books - or even just be able to find them. Besides your normal places (amazon, banres&nobles) and the campus store, some places for that might be:

• http://www.bigwords.com/
• http://www.efollet.com/
• http://www.campusbooks.com/

Finally, there were a few more school listed in the book that I'm not sure I had thoroughly looked through. So here's the list of them. Like most schools I've found, I suspect that they will have *some* courses available online, but not a full masters degree available. Anyways, here's that list:

• Penn State 
• Indiana Uni
• UC Berkley
• Uni of Wisconsin
• RIT
• Uni of Washington

Alright, so not a very exciting blog, and more of a reminder list for me, but maybe it could help you too? In the mean time, I've made contact at the rest of my schools. I intended to ask a bunch of questions (working on that list now- will post later) and feel them out, but I think NCSU is my current front runner. We'll see. If anyone has any experiences that they want to share, please jump in and let me know! I'd love to hear it! Plan for now, harass a bunch of people, probably just start by taking one course in the fall before I'm actually matriculated in a program and then decide if it's right for me or not! We'll see :)

Shhh!! Don't tell Mom+Dad!!!!

Well after years and years of debating, I think I'm closer than ever to considering taking the plunge and getting my first tattoo. If you know me, you know my list of piercings is pretty damn long (don't understand how I don't set off metal detectors), but I've yet to po my tattoo-cherry. Why you may ask? Well really it's the whole permanent thing. Yeah my piercings are going to leave random scars and weird holes in all likelihood, but I can also probably put small discreet simple jewelry in them too if I want. I also responded really well to tea-tree oil when I was developing a keloid on my industrial when I first got it, so I'm hopeful about that. Anyways, that's at least a decade away until I have to worry about that.

But as for now, yeah, it's all the stereotypical reasons that people don't get tats. Worried about work, changing you mind, tackiness, sagging, kids, wedding, parents, life, special occasions, etc etc etc. So it's something that I've be torn over for years. There's one that has always ALWAYS resonated with me, and that's just an old school pair of swallows on your chest. The symbolism and imagery has always done it for me, and not to mention I think when done right, they're just gorgeous (yes, even in a wedding dress - although my gramps would will me). But again PERMANENT = SCAREY. And your chest is pretty out there. Granted it's really more your brestbone than your boobs so you won't really have much sagging.... can you hear me talking myself into this?

More than I would want, but you get the idea.

So what's this post about then? Well I'm considering stronly doing a quote of sorts somewhere. They can be kind of cheesey, but I'm finding some that I really like the jist of. This whole idea of accepting that I can't control the future has been really important/empowering/influential on my lately and something I've tried to enforce in my life (unsucessfully) many times before - so it's not like it's coming out of nowhere. Now where to put it is the questions. I really like Rachel Evan Woods' back tattoo, but I want to keep my back clean for now (just in case......), and I also think you need to be kinda of waif-ish for this look - which if you know me, you know I have no interest in. Elbows down is a no. Nothing in the crotch area (a place where many girls are throwing their swallows nowadays). So it's kinda weird.... but I kinda like these foot tattoos. The just go around the edge and if you have flats on it looks really cute and you can obviously cover it at times. And if I decide I hate it, it's only on my foot. So something like this...

Or with the option of maybe going up and around the leg a bit? Maybe adding some shapes?

This would of course all depend on what quote I ended up choosing and how it fit, yadda yadda yadda. So I guess that was the meat. Now the potatoes? Here are some of the ones that are standing out for me. Highlighted quotes or portions (is that silly?) are front runners. Others are just included to get the jist of what I'm looking for.  

• I know not what the future holds, but I know who holds the future..
• The only thing we know about the future is that it will be different.
• The best way to predict the future is to create it.
• The future is called "perhaps," which is the only possible thing to call the future. And the only important thing is not to allow that to scare you.
• Nobody trips over mountains. It is the small pebble that causes you to stumble. Pass all the pebbles in your path and you will find you have crossed the mountain. 
• A door opens to me. I go in and am faced with a hundred closed doors.
• In time I will fade away/In time I won't care what you say/In time, but time takes time you know (ben folds)
• but it's your life/and you can decorate it as you like/beneath the paint and armour in your eyes the truth still shines/jane be jane (ben folds)
• maybe something from it means everything by Save Ferris - that whole song justs pumps me up.
• You need to remember, you need time to forget/We need the time to change our minds/And separate the present from tomorrow/Disguised as yesterday (h20)
• And no one said it was gonna be easy, but I'm not afraid to try/ With the odds stacked up against me I will have to fight/ One life One Chance Gotta do it Right. (h20 - i see this as maybe a future rib?)
• maybe this weight was a gift/Like I had to see what I could lift (nada surf)
• 
  
  durrrr... what about "Here I Am, Still Intact" hahahahahaha.  That might be the winner. 

So now I'M EXPECTIN MAJOR FEEDBACK AND IDEAS!!!!! Anything! More quotes, placement ideas, font styles, possible shapes/images to add, "those ideas suck katie", that'll be fun, "you're feet are way too ugly", weird...  whatever you think. I needs me some help. I was given a specific recommendation of ArtFreek in Providence from a guy I trust pretty well, but I'm open to otther suggestion as well. Also less worried for writing than something like the swallows I'm sure will follow....Lordy my parents are going to flip LOL. The lip ring was bad enough, but really.... they HAVE to know it's coming eventually. So yeah, FEEDBACK BITCHES!!! :)

The Year in Review Post

Oh so stereotypical, but I figured it was time to do a year in review and maybe some resolutions.  It's been an interesting year for me... lots of ups and downs to be honest, but I guess who doesn't have those?

Year started kinda bumpy (ok... maybe first 6 months? lol). Relationship going very much downhill- same shit, different day (different year even....geeze). Something different in 2009 though. I finally grew the balls to draw the line and honestly, that's something I'm really proud of myself for. ::pat myself on the back there:: Kicked him out. Started taking much better care of myself.  Got a roommate. Sorted my life out.

OK, well maybe I'm still working on that "sort life out" but again, who isn't? And again, patting myself on the back, I've been doing a damn good job of it. I've made some great new friends, feeling a lot better at work, got my butt back in shape, started reading more, keeping in better touch with old friends, started volunteering, going back to church more, have overhauled my eating habits, had 4 (5?) adoptions this year and am just so much more relaxed nowadays.  Really, got a lot of my to-do list accomplished and that's pretty awesome. So I'm still majorly addicted to trashy VH1... not such a crime in the long run, right?

 With studs like Real and Chance, how do I say no?

So I guess that brings me to 2010, right?  Well I think for now I've still got a pretty damn good running list to work on. I really would like to get more green, but that's still a bit overwhelming to me. Really excited to keep on the path I'm at right now nutrition/exercise-wise and finally get to some more serious strength training (pull-ups.... pulllllllupppppppssss). On a lighter note, definitely excited to do some cheesey dating things with my single gals (speed dating anyone? lol), cause some things you really just have to do for the story. Oh and maybe I'll get my little snots to like me this year. That would be good too :)

So insanely in love with each other.... Stop spooning and love me!!!

So I guess that's about it for now....aka VH1 is calling my name. Goodbye 2009 and hello 2010. Like the blog says- here I am, still intact.

Where did that post go?

Some of you might have noticed a slightly different layout. My original intention with my blog was to keep this fairly light hearted, maybe some funny pictures or stories, but nothing super bloggy. Problem is, I can get super bloggy sometimes, and not always about stuff I want everyone to know. So I decided to create a parallel blog of sorts where I can link to my posts there, maybe summarize them, but keep it set to private. In the coming days I'll be working out the kinks of making sure everyone is invited to that one. So please bear with me as I make this change.

I think it's a really good thing that makes me just a bit more comfortable keeping this section totally public. And dont worry, if you're a random reader that I don't know that has somehow stumbled across my blog and feel this crazy connection, I'm totally open to giving you access to both sites so please let me know!! I'd really love people in similar situations to mine to be able to read and relate!

Disclaimer: If you're not on the "cool list", please dont be offended. Obviously there are some things everyone prefers to keep a bit more personal for a variety of reasons :)

DIFO FRIENDS: I don't know most of your emails to invite you, so somehow get those to me and I'll set you up!

Progress, I swear!!!

Progress, I swear!

My Reading List

One big thing on my to-do list has been starting to read again! So here's my list of books I want to read. All varieties included. Please PLEASE post suggestions of more! I love lots of different genres so suggest anything!

Chick Lit (or just anything I know will make me cry)

• Bridget Jones 1 and 2
• Twilight Series
• Joy Luck Club
• Memoirs of a Geisha
• The Notebook
• The Princess Bride



• In Her Shoes
• The Time Traveler's Wife
• Persuasion- Jane Austen (and the rest that I haven't read)
• Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants

Exercise/Nutrition

• Maximum Strength- Eric Cressey
• Muscle Revolution/ Huge in a Hurry- Chad Waterbury
• Under the Bar - Dave Tate



• Raising the Bar -Tate
• Starting Strength - Mark Ripptoe
• reread Nutrient Timing
• The Female Body Breakthrough
• Rock, Iron, Steel
• Bigger, Faster, Stronger
• Good Calories, Bad Calories
• Built for Show- Nate Green
• Scrawny to Brawny - John Berardi

Highschool/Middleschool Classics I Missed

• Rebecca
• Killing Mr Griffin
• Forever- Judy Blume
• A Hero Ain't Nothing but a Sand
• Boy - Roald Dahl (pretty sure that's a re-read)

Series

• Anything Dean Koontz
• Finish up my Clive Cusslers
• Something Bill Bryson

Other

• The Great Bridge
• The Poisonwood Bible
• Outliers
• Running with Scissors
• Girl with the Pearl Earing

My Path to Self Improvement?

Otherwise known as my long term to -do list. Like I said, I've been a bit introspective lately and have seen a lot of things in my life that I want to change. So here's that list. I'll probably update it as time goes on, maybe add things here and there, maybe prioritize some things and hopefully knock a chunk off. This is probably going to be a long one :)

Volunteer more- on a short term basis

Plan and take part in a voluntourism trip- looking at several in south america right now

Get back to church semi-regularly at least

Read more

Play my piano more- learn that song i love.

Meet more friends

Make a decision about grad school

Get back in touch with some old friends

Lose the fat - again- DAMNIT.

Get stronger- have a chance to do a significant strength program within the next year

Get greener- at least in small steps

Take the buns out more

Try some yoga

Cook more regularly

Join/do some sort of sports competition- maybe a powerlifting comp or a strongwoman or a tri or a team like maybe roller derby- even though those are all very different. just something competitive.

Not too big of a list, eh? So those are the things that have been on my mind lately. I'm sure you can see why I've been a bit overwhelmed about it. Mostly I want to focus on the physical (getting back into much better shape and feeling good about it) and the spiritual (getting back my sense of community through friends, church and volunteering.