Ode to Cute Gym Guy

CUTE GYM GUY, WHERE ARE YOU??????? Seriously, this is starting to get ridiculous. He's been MIA for weeks now. Who am I supposed to drool over when I'm bored? Don't get me wrong, I love me my scrawny white boys (truly, I do), but I also enjoy dabbling in the more traditional eye candy, especially when trying to keep my own motivation going. Seriously, I'm not sure it gets much sexier than a Nate Green one-arm overhead snatch.

So in memory of my personal favorite local gym hottie (creatively nicked Cute Gym Guy by yours truly), I decided to write him an Ode.  And what better form to follow than that of the Ode to a Radish from one of my favorite obscure Disney movies, The Reluctant Dragon.  If you haven't seen it, or at least Morris the Midget Moose, get on it! They're wonderfully entertaining, as hopefully is my Ode. Enjoy.

Gym guy so cute,
Gym guy so cute;
Why don't you approach me? Why every day mute?
Is it because I sometimes let out a toot?

Gym guy so hot,
Gym guy so hot;
My oh my, what an amazing ass you've got.
But where did it come from? You don't squat a lot.

Gym guy so sturdy,
Gym guy so sturdy;
I'd melt in your arms if you called me purty.
But I'd like you even more if I knew you were nerdy.

Gym guy so cut,
Gym guy so cut;
It's great looking at you when I'm stuck in a rut.
I'd like to wisk you away to a private beach hut.

Gym guy so built,
Gym guy so built;
Love watching you with that medicine ball when side to side you tilt.
Eating whipped cream from your body, I would have no guilt.

Gym guy so buff,
Gym guy so buff;
Forget this poem. I've had enough.
Screw unique rhymes, I wanna see you in the buff!

Delicious!