Sunday, November 22, 2009

My Baby!!!!

A second WOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOOOOOO in one day!!!!! It looks like my baby Danica, one of my foster rabbits (for those that don't know, I volunteer and am a foster home for the House Rabbit Network) is going to get adopted!!!

I've had the pleasure of fostering this little spitfire since this past February and am honestly, now that it's hitting, a bit heartbroken at the idea of her going. The sweetie has a bit of cage aggression (due to a rough life) but is absolutely amazing outside of her cage and has made so much progress since being with me. I just want to run home and hug her right now!

This is what it's all about. I'm so happy for her. Just gotta keep my fingers crossed that everything goes as planned. She should be in her forever home Wednesday. What an amazing Thanksgiving surprise.


WOOOHOOOOOOOO. Today, I finally fit back into my skinny jeans! Not my "I'm skinny" jeans, but the actual cut. Either way, it's a step in the right direction and was super exciting. My weight isn't changing too much lately, so this was much needed. They still used to be fat pants, but for a month or two, I couldn't even fit into them. Now I can with ease, so I must be doing something right.

I know I shouldn't use food as a reward, but I used good food in moderation as my reward today. I went out to my favorite sushi joint and instead of my usual three rolls leaving me stuffed, I had a gentle two rolls and savored them. It was just the right size and totally hit the spot.

So yay for having more than one pair of pants to wear to work and yay for enjoyed moderation!

Saturday, November 21, 2009

Reinventing Yourself

How will you know you've reached your goal? I will be able to fit back into all the damn cute clothes I bought. I wont think twice about wearing a bikini. I won't think bad thoughts when I look in the mirror anymore. Food will not control me. I won't be terrified of gaining it back. I will be able to splurge without feeling guilty.

What sacrifices will you make? I'm ok being less indulgent in social situations. That's a biggie for me. I feel like if I'm paying for food I need to get something really indulgent and that shouldn't be the case. I should be able to (sometimes, not necessarily all the time) go out to dinner and not get pasta.

What sacrifices won't you make? This is horrible, but I'm not ready to give up social drinking entirely right now. I'm really trying to reach out and make friends and that's a common method. I definitely am willing to nix the booze some nights and go for some Diet Coke instead, but not all nights. I want to be able to cut loose like that when I feel like it, which I guess would be part of my 90% compliance so it should be OK. That's the big one that I feel like will become more of an issue the closer I get to my goals. It's not like I go out a lot, but I do tend to have half a dozen drinks or so and some junk food when I do. I also need to be able to give into my cravings at least some of the time, but again, 90/10.

How will you feel when you're a fit female? This will mean the world to me. It's so frustrating knowing I had it. To know I finally have it again will be a huge accomplishment and RELIEF. I will be confident in my body again and happy with it and love it. Not that I shouldn't do that now anyways, but man, I remember that shock the last time I tried in bikini's and they fit and looked good. I want it. I want it bad.

What makes this a must this time? What are the repercussions of failure? Well, short term, I want to be able to go to the beach and feel great and have awesome pictures and not be worried about what I look like. (I probably don't have time to get quite there, but I'll be a ton closer). The repercussions of that are going to be not enjoying my trip or pictures or adventures. Long term repercussions, well I've kind of talked about them. I don't want to yo-yo anymore. I don't want to be a bad example. I don't want to do this again and again. I want to be stable. I will not waste this energy and stress and unhappiness anymore.

Mission Statement I think this one is going to get it's own post, but I'd love to sum up with two that really stick with me. "Suck it up princess" and "food will not control my mood."

Deciding what you want and Why

I recently finished (and loved) reading the Female Body Breakthrough. There were a couple of questionnaire type sections for goal setting that you're supposed to do. So I figured why not put them out here? All my blogging related to the book will be under the category FBB if you're interested in following along to the book specifically. So here it goes (paraphrased Q's below).

Why did you pick up this book? I picked up the book because I need a change. I've put back on a good chunk of fat, especially post-breakup, and it needs to be gone. I don't feel healthy, confident or good about myself much at all anymore, and I want those things back. I picked up this book because I've done some of Rachel's workouts before, and I know she's an ass kicker. I feel like if someone is going to push me, it's going to be her and I knew I would get results. I also knew she would force me to do things I don't particularly like, but are good for me.

Are you ready to do what it takes? I think so. Not the most confident answer, and probably not the ideal, but it's an honest one. I am definitely ready and eager, but I'm really scared too. I know I have a long way to go and that really intimidates me. That being said, this is as good a time as any and I'm loving the results I've got already.

Why now? Because this is out of control. Because this is the biggest I've ever been. Because I hate this. Because I hate the lack of confidence. Because I need to feel like me again. Because I'm sick of stressing about my body.

What has stopped you in the past? Stress and my love of food have been my usually derailers. I freaking love food and I'm a huge comfort eater. I do fine with exercise. I really love it and enjoy it. But I hate dieting. I hate feeling hungry. I hate limiting myself. And it's always been diet that I've given in on. I'm all or nothing, on or off the wagon, and that's a guaranteed way to put the weight back on.

Are those obstacles still issues? Again, honestly, they probably are. I'm never not going to love food and I'll probably always be somewhat attracted to junk. But I do have hope that it will get better. I'm trying new recipes all the time and becoming a decent cook and I think that if I can make my daily food more delish that will help a lot. As for stress eating, I'm trying to decrease/eliminate stress as much as possible. Really trying to change my mindset and the way I think about things. So hopefully the situations where I want to stress eat can be fewer.

What motivates you? I've been there before. I've felt awesome about myself. I've felt healthy and fit and attractive and it was amazing. I just want to get back there so bad. Short term, I'm trying to plan a trip to South America this March, so looking good for that is motivating me too.

Thursday, November 19, 2009

Let's Get Real: A look in the Mirror

For year and years there's one body part I've always hated: my stomach. It's the one body part I've always judged myself on, based my progress off of and has had the biggest ability to affect my happiness. It's what i'm most self-conscious about and always trying to hide.

Lately, it's come to my attention that I'm a moron. As much as I might be self-conscious of my tummy, it really isn't where I hold/gain most of my weight. It's actually a really poor indicator of progress, and even though it doesn't look good persay, it really isn't my "trouble spot." Still, it's admittedly hard to not focus on it when I look in the dreaded mirror.

But like I said, I am a moron. Just looking at a handful of pictures, it's adundently clear that my weight goes to primarily to my thighs (then the lower back, ass and finally to my arms). So why the hell look at something like my stomach to judge progress??? I know in part I'm definitely trained by the media/society/etc etc to be looking for those abs. But I also know that's not a good indicator for me. Maybe in the future, but certainly not now.

Not a really exciting post, but I hope it maybe gives you a reason to re-evaluate what you're looking at. I know for me, between the media and my distorted body image, it's been really difficult to realistically look at myself and my progress, and appreciate what I have. I know for me, pictures are the clearest indicator of this and the best way to keep myself in check. I can't recommend them enough. So get snapping and take a real good look at yourself.

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Practice Thanksgiving

So a few friends and I have what we call Practice Thanksgiving every year. It started when a friend was hosting turkey day for her fam and wanted to practice making a turkey. So we decided why not turn it into a fun potluck? This year was our third annual celebration. It's a really fun time to get together with friends and just enjoy an awesome meal.

The Ingredients

So this year I decided to go for some non-traditional turkey day options that I had been waiting to try. The first was a quinoa broccoli fritatta from Oxygen Magazine and the second was a roasted chickpea recipe from Clean Eating Magazine. Both turned out surprisingly well! Here's the fritatta:

The Fritatta

I had been aching to make this for a while and this was a perfect opportunity. It was also my first fritatta! So both exciting. I burned the bottom a little (probably when it was on the stove, not in the broiler) but overall success! It was OK at dinner cause it was a little cold, but was amazing when I reheated it. So good! I can definitely see adding more veggies and egg and having it as a regular breakfast. And it was really easy to make!

Next, were the roasted chickpeas. Again, super easy to make, pretty cheap, nutritious and they turned out quite well! I can definitely see making them as a regular snack food. Here they are:

And the final results of Practice Thanksgiving? An awesome, colorful plate of food! And it was a pretty successful meal for me as well. I was able to savor my meal, not totally stuff myself and enjoy dessert in much more moderation than I'm used to! Now if I can just conquer the crescent rolls in two weeks at home!


Saturday, November 14, 2009

Funnies, Part I

So to lighten the mood a bit (I know I get uber-bloggy sometimes), I thought I would also throw in some random funnies that I enjoy. Of course, genres of all type and some might be a bit inside joke-ish. But mostly, I just don't want to lose track of most of these! So I hope you enjoy.

Can squats cure cancer? An amazing compilation of Rippetoe quotes.

Most Legit Workout Workout Vid Ever. I want to marry these guys.

And one I was introduced to last night. German Forklift Safety:

Poke, Sniff and Lick: a lovely production by a coworker's kids (sorry, can't imbed this one!). Really funny actually. I think I would have had tons of fun with these guys :)

My heroes from The Principal's Office on Dirty Dancing.

Marker Face, again from the Principal's Office. Cause who didn't have a kid like this in their school?

And finally... my favorite clip from The Soup discussing our President's sexual habits that made me nearly piss my pants. MUST SEE.

Hope you Enjoyed!!!! Stay tuned for part 2 as I come across more funnies.

My Reading List

One big thing on my to-do list has been starting to read again! So here's my list of books I want to read. All varieties included. Please PLEASE post suggestions of more! I love lots of different genres so suggest anything!
Chick Lit (or just anything I know will make me cry)
  • Bridget Jones 1 and 2
  • Twilight Series
  • Joy Luck Club
  • Memoirs of a Geisha
  • The Notebook
  • The Princess Bride

  • In Her Shoes
  • The Time Traveler's Wife
  • Persuasion- Jane Austen (and the rest that I haven't read)
  • Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants
  • Maximum Strength- Eric Cressey
  • Muscle Revolution/ Huge in a Hurry- Chad Waterbury
  • Under the Bar - Dave Tate

  • Raising the Bar -Tate
  • Starting Strength - Mark Ripptoe
  • reread Nutrient Timing
  • The Female Body Breakthrough
  • Rock, Iron, Steel
  • Bigger, Faster, Stronger
  • Good Calories, Bad Calories
  • Built for Show- Nate Green
  • Scrawny to Brawny - John Berardi
Highschool/Middleschool Classics I Missed
  • Rebecca
  • Killing Mr Griffin
  • Forever- Judy Blume
  • A Hero Ain't Nothing but a Sand
  • Boy - Roald Dahl (pretty sure that's a re-read)
  • Anything Dean Koontz
  • Finish up my Clive Cusslers
  • Something Bill Bryson


  • The Great Bridge
  • The Poisonwood Bible
  • Outliers
  • Running with Scissors
  • Girl with the Pearl Earing

Friday, November 13, 2009

As per always...

We. Are. Fucked.

Yup, that's right. We as a society are nutritionally fucked. No ifs, ands or buts about it. It becomes more and more and more apparent to me every day. People are clueless. Utterly clueless. And it's being completely taken advantage of.

Let's look at TV to start with. We have lovely commercials such as those put out by the Corn Refiner's Association telling us that HFCS is fine and nothing to worry about. After that, General Mills tried to convince us with a big white check that cinnamon toast crunch and froot loops were healthy choices, with tons of whole grains and fiber and the ability to increase concentration and help your heart. And my new FAVORITE commericals by far, are the Nutella commericals, like this one I regularly see on TV praising the health benefits of the hazelnut spread and this one I've only had the joy of youtubing:

Oh and you can't forget... hagen daaz's newest ice cream invention that only have 5 ingredients!!! Since when did 3/5 of your ingredients being crap become something to brag about? Oh wait, it's pure, natural crap. That's right.

And finally, I can't stop without a wonderful recount of my favorite bastardization of nutrition of all time... David Zinczenko, Editor in Chief of Men's Health Magazine and author of "Eat This, Not That!", and in particular, his season 7 appearence on the Biggest Loser. During this particular challenge, the teams had to identify which meal option was HEALTHIER. Not least fat. Not least calories. Not most balanced. Not most nurtritaional. They were specifically told (and this was repeated) to chooise the healthier option. One round was A) Grilled chicken burrito with the works (like, ohhhhh, a dollop of guacamole), I believe prepared with brown rice too, or B) 18 lite beers. The correction option was A, but they were told that if it was 17 BEERS, that would have been the healthier option. Excuse me?!?!?!?!?!?!?!!? Are you really telling me that a lovely burrito with some healthy fats, decent carbs and lean protein that would keep me satisfied for hours and has some excellent nurtrients is worse than drinking 17 beers? I think it took a week to pick my jaw up off the ground. Fucking Zinczenko. And people really honest to god trust him and think his POS books are a good source of information. Ugh.

So does it really surprise me that people are clueless? It shouldn't but the stuff that comes out of people's mouths... Recently, I had two amazing overhears from my cube. The first was from a friend of mine, a relatively informed one (compared to the rest of the population) who is actually trying to loose weight. I guess he had recently visited the golden arches and was looking up some calorie counts, when he exclaimed in shock about the ~1000 calorie count of a large shake and how he could not believe that. WTF did you expect????? You're basically having 4 or 5 bowls of extra processed, extra sugary ice cream mixed with lord knows what kind of syrupy flavoring. How is that a surprise? Since when does LARGE MILK SHAKE from McDONALD's not imply caloriefest 2009? Not nearly as bad, and maybe a bit more understandable, was the shock of finding out a Starbucks scone was about 500calories. It's not breakfast; it's a freaking pastry!!! Just because it's not creamy doesn't mean it isn't filled with loads of sugar and butter. But they again were horrified at the calorie count. Really people.... really?

Does it surprise me that the same friends talk about "taking protein" as a supplement? You don't say you're taking chicken. A macro is not a supplement buddy. A whole nother tangent I could go off on....

But back to the point. We're fucked. If this is what somewhat intelligent, informed people who are actually trying to change their bodies think, what does the average Joe think and how the heck are we supposed to begin tackling this issue?

I know I can laugh at the ridiculousness of the situation, but truly, it's quite terrifying.

Thursday, November 12, 2009

The Whys

I've been feeling a bit unmotivated lately and was really starting to loose my "umph" for this. I hate dieting- I really do. Maintainence I can deal with, but actually cutting, ugh. And I know I haven't been perfect lately (the past 2.5 weeks have included 2 nights of binge drinking and a day of pizza devouring) and I'm doing a "light" version of my usual diet strategy with a little more wiggle room, but I was getting frustrated with the lack of progress anyways. Well I finally got back out of the 160's for the first time in at least two or three months. Thank freaking god. Hopefully that lasts. We'll see.

But more importantly, it made me want to finally get my list of Whys. It's really so important to know why you're doing something, espeically when things get tough. So here they are- The Whys. The selfish, the vain, the health, the family, the fashion, the energy... all those reasons and more:
  • I don't like the way I look and similarly,
  • I loved looking like an athlete.
  • I want to fit back into my clothes (and really dont want to have to buy new ones!).
  • I want that confidence back.
  • I miss being able to shop so easily (minus the fact that my hamstrings and arms/back dont fit into stuff lol).
  • I hate feeling out of shape.
  • I want to be able to enjoy active activities.
  • I want to be confident and comfortable to do anything anytime, like random skinny dipping!
  • I miss enjoying the beach.
  • Pullups. Nough said.
  • I'm sick of being "that girl" eternally dieting/yo-yoing.
  • I really love the idea of clean eating and do enjoy it.
  • Kind of into the future, but I want to be a good example for my daughter, if I should have one. I'm terrified of the idea of my child growing up feeling the way I did at times, and I don't want to be anything but a positive influence and role model. That one really has been resonating with me lately.
  • I don't want any reservations dating, and....
  • I certainly dont want any reservations sexually because of my body.
  • I want to just be able to throw simple things on without worrying- like tank tops and jeans
  • I want to look like I know all that I know.
  • I cant lie- I want to be looked at again. It's nice being checked out.
  • I want to get all this under control now while I have freedom and flexibility and my youth and fewer commitments.
  • I want to give away my fat clothes for real this time so I can finally have some room in my closet!
  • Cellulite. When the fuck did that come back on my legs? So not cool.
  • I worry a bit about my health. I'm not huge, but I'm a bit unhealthily overweight at this point if I'm realistic.
  • Oh and that ever so poingnant inspiration.... revenge hottness. I want that man to ache when he sees me.
Now I just have to remember to really keep this stuff in mind during those tough moments! I'm thinking some sort of morning ritual or something crazy like that or some motivational quote to focus on when I need it. We'll see :) But I really just have to keep focused.
Ideally, I'd love to plan a trip for February or March for some south american voluntourism. and I want to feel damn confident there and have no freaking qualms about hitting the beach and taking tons of pics! That gives me about 12-16 weeks, and that's during the holidays, to lose about 20-30 more pounds. Not an easy task by any means. I really need to get on this. Really.

Veggies galore, here I come. Ready to attack.

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Heads Up for a Good Deal

This week, one of my favorite trainers, Rachel Cosgrove, released her new book- The Female Body Breakthrough. For those that are familiar with The New Rules of Lifting, she's the wife of the main trainer/author, Alwyn Cosgrove.

Rachel is a great author and an amazing author. I particularly enjoyed her series of articles on FA about her ironman training, the fat gain she experienced during this, and the steps she took to get her bod back (phase 1, phase 2, metabolic workout 1, metabolic workout 2).

So tomorrow there's a special deal with some fun free gifts if you order her book from amazon. I know I was planning on getting it anyways so tomorrow is just as good of a day as any other. Thought I would pass on the good news. More info about the book and ordering it here.

Thursday, November 5, 2009